Further out

Hi all,

It's been a very interesting week. I am trying to keep up with the "go with the flow" mentality. At the same time, what I have going on with Jake is something new and very exciting for me. We're texting pretty much every day now, even just things like "Hope you have a good day." We've talked on the phone twice now. We're actually deliberately cutting back on the emails to ensure that we don't cover too much before we meet. It's still a week before he returns. It's gonna be a long week. And I really have no idea what will happen then. Ideally we'll click, and the way I see it, at this point worst case scenario we'll just be friends. Which is cool, I always like making new friends. Best case scenario, my first relationship? We'll see.

I also just came out to another person! One of my best friends . . . well really I'd say he is my best friend (especially now!) I've known him since freshman year of high school and we've been good friends since junior year. He was my roommate freshman year of college. We've grown a lot closer over the years, and lately I've been hanging out with him about once a week. I've been working up the nerve to have "the talk" with him for several weeks now. Tonight I finally did it (though it took a while to work up to it). I told him about everything: my confusion, my anxiety and how it exacerbated my career indecision, seeing the psychologist, my worries about my sex drive, the testosterone therapy, the blog, my blog friends and pen pals, the dating website, my first gay date, and Jake. Basically the entire story thus far. His reaction was great, and it turns out one of his other friends came out to him recently too, haha. He also said that him and a couple other friends from the dorms had speculated about my sexuality "many times" before. I guess they were trying to figure out why I wasn't dating girls. My friend figured at the time that I just lacked self-confidence. Anyways, his opinion is that I should tell my dad next. I'm not too enthusiastic about that idea, but we'll see. I actually have another friend that I've recently reconnected with, and this one is gay himself, so he seems a logical choice for the next person to talk to. I've known him since elementary school and he just moved back to the area. I hung out with him a bit yesterday and met some of his friends, and a couple of them were gay too (one was smoking hot . . . but taken).

First things first, I want to see what happens with Jake. Actually, I agreed to meet up with another guy this weekend (still haven't heard from him regarding a time and place but he's extremely busy). My plan is to see how I like this guy, see how it goes with Jake next weekend and if for some reason both are viable for second dates I will decide at that point which way to proceed.

Have a good weekend everybody!!