Whenever possible I'm going to try to name my entries after rock songs and include a video to go with it. Why? Because rock music makes everything better, that's why.
During the fateful conversation at the end of the hike yesterday, Ben described our dating relationship as being like a "boat without a rudder." I'm still trying to grasp exactly what he meant by that, but I guess it means that since we were both fairly inexperienced in the gay dating world he felt like we weren't really going anywhere but were rather just kind of rowing haphazardly. Now, perhaps it was a reference to the fact that I had not exhibited much (well, any) physical intimacy. And like TwoLives said in his comment, maybe this guy wanted sex and didn't see it happening with me. You know, come to think of it, it had kind of occurred to me that his dating behavior was quite by the book. First date: short, just drinks and talking. Second date: fun activity, followed by lunch and a kiss on the cheek. Third date: was he expecting the 'Sex after the third date' rule to play out? Whatever. I'm content forging my own path. I don't need or want to play by any rule book. I just need to find someone else who doesn't mind playing it by ear as well. I emailed Ben for closure and he agreed he'd like to just be friends. He said I could give him a call when I'm next up in his area and we could go hiking again. So, that's good. If nothing else I seem to be accumulating friends.
Thanks to all who weighed in, including TwoLives in the comments and GayDudeUSA, You Tube Guy, and Mike in our usual means of contact (GChat, phone, and email respectively, haha).
In other news, I texted my friend Rick and told him about what happened. He responded that he went out with a group of friends from where he used to work and has a guy he wants to set me up with. According to Rick he's "good-looking, Greek, masculine w/ a cool amount of flamboyance." Dude, now my friends are setting me up, things are getting wild :-P Also, I signed up on a second (free) dating site. We'll see where that goes. Okay, time to get ready for the date with Conner.
3 comments:
Getting referrals from your friends is a better way to find someone more compatible with you than cold hits from dating sites. Still that just improves the chances you'll hit it off, it's not a guaranty. Be specific with your friends what you are looking for otherwise they will just think that you are going to attracted to a guy simply because he's gay or bi.
I don't know if this helps or not, but straight people have a hard time dating, too. :) It's a frustrating, awkward dance.
And, speaking as someone who's been with the same guy for over a decade, there wasn't an immediate "spark." I think most people who stay together grow together.
Find someone you like and who respects you. And give yourself time. If a guy seems like he's in too much of a hurry, chances are you're better off without him.
Sorry for being random. :) I wish you all the best luck. But, for now, a laugh.
Tim Minchin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zn6gV2sdl38
Aww, I wish my friends would set me up (with almost anyone at this point, haha). One day perhaps . . .
What's this other site you're using now?
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