I was very excited to make it to Date # 3 with Ben.
We had a good time. We ate lunch at a Thai restaurant and then went for a hike.
And it looks like that's it. With Jake, it was great because my inexperience was not a problem for him at all. However, there was no spark. For Ben it's the opposite problem. I felt like we had good chemistry, but once it was out in the open that I was pretty new to the whole gay dating thing (and relationships in general), things went south. He's pretty inexperienced too, and he broke it to me that he'd really like to date someone who's a lot more experienced than he is. When he started telling me this on the hike my heart sank. This is exactly what I was afraid of when I started out on this dating adventure. What if my lack of experience would be an issue? How honest should I be? I was excited to find out that Ben was fairly new to the dating scene himself, for me that's a plus. But I guess he doesn't see things that way.
I'm meeting up with a new guy tomorrow. I'll call him Conner. We've texted a bit this week and he seems like a nice guy. I'm not sure if I should alter my approach at all. Even though I'm fascinated by people's stories about coming to terms with their sexuality and coming out, I'm thinking I should try not to get into those conversations too early on. Argh, why do I have to be so honest and open! Dating isn't about honesty, it's about conning someone into falling in love with you so you can be honest later!! Haha. Just kidding. Or am I?
I don't know. I'm bummed.
3 comments:
Too bad about Ben. It sounds like he wants someone who is sexually experienced. Ok, fine. But if that is essential for him then obviously sex matters more than anything else. I don't think you feel the same way. If so, then maybe it's better that you found out so soon. Otherwise you might have developed a serious crush on him while he was only looking to fool around.
You're not having any problems meeting guys. That means it's only a matter of time before you meet a great one.
Ben's honesty is the silver lining here. Better to know this early on rather than develop expectations that really would hurt if you got involved with him.
His reasoning speaks more about his insecurities than your own, but it it what it is. Ben is not a proxy for the rest of the dating world out there, so no need to adjust your own approach.
That you already have another guy lined up says you have attractive qualities but you still need to connect in that magical way, and the more guys you meet, the more you can hone it on what you want. A bee has to taste many flowers to make sweet honey.
:-/ Sorry to hear that. Everyone handles things differently, and as you said, what made you excited did exactly the opposite for him. Learn from your experiences and move on, there's still time. :-)
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