So, I think I'm done with this blog. It's been forever since I've written in it. I know I've had a similar post before, but this one feels more final. I actually don't even feel the same as I did before about a lot of things. I guess you could say I'm no longer "All Mixed Up". I know that guys attract me in certain ways, but I also know that they fail to attract me in ways that I believe are crucial for a relationship. I think I got too hung up on the fact that I was finding certain guys aesthetically appealing. Now that my understanding of sexuality is removed from the one or the other, black or white way of thinking, I feel like I can actually pursue dating girls without feeling like a fraud. In the end I realize that, though there have been guys that I have developed "crushes" on, the majority of my crushes have been girls, and it is girls with whom I can visualize myself in an actual relationship. Right now I'm a little afraid about the prospect of telling any future partner about this period in my life. Honesty is one of my most highly valued traits, and I don't think I could have a serious relationship without having The Talk and explaining my somewhat confused past, and my somewhat mixed up attractions. Hopefully she'll understand and be okay with it.
Many thanks to those of you who have offered up your advice along the way. I wish you the best of luck, not just with your sexuality-related issues, but with careers, relationships, family, and everything. I'll probably hold onto the email address for a while (though it has already become a spam magnet) but I don't know how often I'll check it.
Bye,
B
