To boldly go

I've never been much of a Star Trek fan (I was more into Star Wars . . . at least until those horrible prequels), but strangely enough two Star Trek related items are on my mind today.

First of all, as many of you probably already know, Zachary Quinto came out recently. He's most known for two roles: the villainous Sylar on Heroes and Spock in the Star Trek reboot. I actually first saw him on 24, where he played a CTU programmer (I think his name was Adam). His latest roles are in the movie Margin Call and the TV show American Horror Story, neither of which I have seen yet. I'm glad that he's decided to live openly. I know the decision to do so can have big career repercussions for actors. I guess it was the news of another gay kid committing suicide that convinced him it was the right thing to do.

The other thing is a fan-made Star Trek production called "Blood and Fire." It apparently is a continuation of the original series with new actors cast as Kirk, Spock, etc. Featured is Captain Kirk's nephew, Peter Kirk, who is gay and in a relationship with another member of the Enterprise crew. The only scene I've seen involves the two of them. It is a fairly long scene of the two of them in Peter's quarters, getting rather intimate (with most of their clothes on, though Peter manages to lose his shirt). I was reading a discussion board about the episode on the website of the creators, it was pretty interesting. There was a lot of Star Trek fans who were upset by that scene. Some just because of it's length and the effect on the pacing of the episode, but quite a few because of its very presence. Some complained that it represented catering to the "gay agenda" (oh how I despise that term). A couple of people complained about not being able to let their kids watch the episode (granted, apparently there's also some rather scary, violent scenes later on, but they were at least partially talking about the gay love scene). This of course began to degenerate into a discussion about the morality of homosexuality in general, which caused one of the creators to start threatening to ban people.

The internet is a breeding ground for such heated arguing and hateful rhetoric. I seem to have a compulsion to read the comments section on articles about controversial topics, especially gay rights. I almost always end up angry/sad at some of the ignorant, hateful things that some people say. Of course, there are usually more logical, compassionate people chiming in as well. However, even some usually logical people can have some pretty ridiculous beliefs and misunderstandings about homosexuality.

Case in point: I was talking to one of my best friends the other day, and the subject of gay rights came up when we were talking about the Republican candidates. He expressed his opinion that gay people shouldn't be able to get married, because gay people raising children would propagate homosexuality. I tried to explain to him that studies suggest that children of gay parents are no more likely than children of straight parents to be gay, but he was skeptical. Bah. Of course, I do realize that not everyone has put as much deep thinking into the subject as I have (for obvious reasons). Still, there's still so much misinformation out there that people are clinging to! If gay parents turn their kids gay, how come not all children of straight parents are straight?

Some links, and # 1

A couple of interesting articles I stumbled upon today.

This first one is about Rick Santorum. I don't think I mentioned the other aspect of his appearance in the recent debate: the audience's reaction to the gay soldier that asked the question about DADT. They booed him. Straight up booed a member of our military because he is gay and dared to ask whether Santorum planned to erase his newly given right to honesty and openness (answer: yes, he does).

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/09/23/dont-ask/?scp=2&sq=santorum&st=Search

The next one is an interesting article by an "experimental philosopher" from Yale about one's true self.

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/06/05/in-search-of-the-true-self/

Anyone who reads that, share with me: what do you think determines your true self? Is it your basest, most automatic instincts? Or does it lie in your values? If I remember, maybe I'll say what I think next time.

And last but not least, lets finish up our little countdown of Hot Guys of Reality TV that influenced my sexuality discovery process (which is ongoing).

The winner is . . .

J.P. Calderon from Survivor Cook Islands!

J.P.'s from the same season that Ozzy Lusth is from, which I guess brings this countdown full circle. He didn't really play a huge role that season and got voted off before he could make it to the jury. But I really liked him. He has that mixture of handsome face, buff body, and soft-spoken demeanor that can be extremely attractive. I continued to keep track of his career after he left the show and ventured into modeling. He wound up on another show called "Janice Dickenson Modeling Agency." Even though I didn't watch it, I watched his pivotal scene: his coming out.

Basically, Instinct Magazine wanted to feature him on the cover. Janice approached him with the opportunity, but also with the catch: the magazine only puts out gay men on the cover. J.P. decided at that point to come out. Suffice it to say my fascination with him grew more after that.

What did you think of my countdown, did anyone else watch any of those shows?

I Don't Practice Santoria

The title of this post is extremely cheesy . . . you'll know why in a moment.

I was checking Google news today and came upon some stories about the debate between the Republicans running for the presidency. One of the top stories focused on Rick Santorum (haha, get it? yeah, I told you), who until today I knew little about. Apparently, he's quite the social conservative. In answering a question addressed to him from a newly out gay soldier, he pledged to reinstate Don't Ask, Don't Tell if he becomes president. He called the repeal of the policy "tragic," and an example of "social experimentation" in the military. He said that gay soldiers were actually better off under the policy. Most nonsensical of all? His justification for wanting the policy back: because "sex and sexual preference should not be an issue in the military, period." Um, yeah Rick, it shouldn't be an issue. That's an argument for why DADT SHOULD be appealed!

Mitt Romney's rep sounds like he did a good job of parroting the usual right wing talking points. "It was a mistake to make a social change like that in our military at a time when we are engaged in foreign conflicts." I guess that's the political equivalent of saying, "We think it's best to wait until hell freezes over. That will be the optimal time." Still, as of right now Mitt Romney seems like the candidate I would hate the least.

I hate to feel such disdain for the Republican candidates when so much of my family is hardcore Republican. If I do decide to vote for Obama to be reelected, I'd better not tell my dad. In his eyes, Obama is evil incarnate (literally, he has used the word "evil" multiple times to describe the president . . .)

Anyways, enough politics. My little silly countdown is at number 2. This choice will be a familiar one for this blog, as I've talked about him a couple of times in the past. He's my very favorite bisexual guy, Mike Manning from The Real World DC.

I'll throw in a bonus too, since I'm talking about The Real World. I totally forgot about this next guy when I was thinking of who to include on this countdown. I forget what season he's from, but he seems to have made quite a name for himself in the world of online fitness. His name is Scott Herman, and . . . damn. So hard to choose what picture to use. Here's a couple.

Big Brother

This next one, # 3 on the list, is from the guiltiest of guilty pleasures, Big Brother. Now, I've only seen two seasons of that show, and for the most part it drives me crazy. But I admit, a couple summers ago I got sucked into it, and Nick Starcevic was a large part of why. It was not just his good looks and buff bod, it was also his goofy personality. Some of his cheesy pick up lines for his showmance partner Danielle might make you gag, though.

All of the guys on this list played a big role in making me realize that I had an attraction to guys. I mean come on, I watched a season of Big Brother for crying out loud! Not sure if I would do that for a girl . . . although I did have a TV crush on Elizabeth Filarski on Survivor (that was long before she got married and became Elizabeth Hasselbeck, the token Republican on The View).

Here's a pic o' Nick . . .

Do Ask Do Tell

Great to hear that Don't Ask Don't Tell is officially repealed. We expect our soldiers to uphold strong moral values, and one of those is honesty. Forcing our troops to lie about themselves should not be the American way (and isn't any more)! By the way, if you haven't seen this yet, check it out http://digitallife.today.com/_news/2011/09/20/7859855-gay-soldier-comes-out-to-dad-live-on-youtube

Number 4 on our countdown of Hot Guys from Reality TV comes from a show from a couple years ago called "Make Me a Supermodel." He's the first gay man on this list (but won't be the last). He was most notable for his onscreen bromance with a straight guy named Ben. His unrequited feelings for Ben led into a really interesting close friendship. I give you, Ronnie Kroell (looking a lot buffer than he used to, damn)!

New job and an old show

I had my first day at my new job today. Same organization, different building. I think I'm going to be a lot busier at this job, which should make me feel more productive and useful. I'll also get to learn some new things, which is always good.

I almost want to tune into Survivor this season. I haven't watched it for years, but one of my favorite players ever, Ozzy Lusth, is back on (apparently they have two returning players mixed in with a bunch of newbies . . . kinda weird). Ozzy always dominates at challenges, especially ones that involve swimming. It's like he's part fish.

On that note, how about a little mini countdown? I've never been big on reality TV, but occasionally I will watch an episode (and on occasion a whole season) if there's a particular person that catches my interest . . . or my eye.

So let's start it off with Number 5 of the Hot Guys of Reality TV: Ozzy!

My guilty pleasure comes to an end

And now, a less serious post to complement the heavier one from earlier. I watched the last couple episodes of "The Real World DC." I feel kind of silly to admit it, but I found this season a little inspiring at times. Most of it came from Mike, whom I've mentioned before. He comes from a conservative background, but he identifies as bisexual and exudes such an admirable self-confidence. Not to mention he's extremely easy on the eyes. However, I also found myself relating to other people on the show as well. There was a girl named Erika who I largely couldn't stand, but when she was debating with herself about whether to leave the show or not, I couldn't help but be reminded of my grad school decision. She constantly flip flopped back and forth until her roommates didn't even believe a word she said anymore. At one point she even considered flipping a coin to decide (I admit, that thought crossed my mind at one point too). In the end, she chose to leave because she wasn't happy, and wanted to return to where she felt safe and comfortable. She stood to gain much more from staying, but she decided to cut and run instead. I'm feeling like giving up on the PhD at this point would be akin to doing that (at least, that's how I feel today, haha). It would be giving in to the impulses that define some of the aspects of my personality that I like least.

Overall, I think the reason I enjoy watching The Real World is because it stars people who are at the same stage of their lives as I am. Even though they tend to be a couple years younger than me and still in college, they are trying to figure out what they want to do for the rest of their lives, and what kind of people they want to be. It also reminds me that everyone is a little screwed up. Everyone has issues (some more than others, as is often the case on that show). And with that, I leave you with an image of Mike Manning. You're welcome, Aek. :-)

I wish "The Real World" would just stop hassling me

I'll admit it, I have a guilty pleasure. It's called "The Real World." That ridiculous show keeps pulling me back in! Part of my fascination stems from my (fortunate) lack of drama in my personal relationships. Seeing these vastly different personality types thrown into a house together shows me the kind of arguments I could be having if I wasn't such a laid back guy, or if the people I lived with weren't also easy going.

But I admit, the number one reason I'm interested in this season is Mike. He is a guy in his early 20s from Colorado who identifies as bisexual. I relate to him a lot, both for his sexual identity confusion and for his laid back, open-minded and good natured attitude. And he is extremely easy on the eyes. He currently seems to be more attracted to guys and is trying to become more comfortable with himself.

I glanced through some of the internet chatter about him, and it amazes me how many gay people there seem to be that refuse to accept the existence of bisexuality. There seems to be a large segment of the gay population that believes guys who call themselves bisexual are really just in the process of coming out as gay. While I agree that this is probably the case for some, and maybe even quite a few, I also have no doubt in my mind that it is possible for someone to be attracted to both sexes. Why shouldn't it be possible?

I don't believe people are born gay or bisexual. I don't believe they're born straight either. I don't think there's any inborn conception of what a human being even is, so why would we pop out of the womb already hardwired to prefer one sex over the other? We need to learn what the choices ARE first! I think the various sexual orientations develop via complicated interactions between one's environment and experiences and one's genetics. Certain characteristics gradually become sexually charged, and usually those characteristics are associated with one sex or the other. At this point the orientation has developed. I don't see why such a complex process can only result in either A or B, though. Heck, sometimes the things that people develop this affinity for are a very specific part of the body, or something unrelated to a person at all. I believe those are what we call "fetishes." Given the amount of variation in people's sexual triggers, I'd be shocked if true bisexuality didn't exist.

Um, how did I go from talking about a reality show to formulating a theory on sexual orientation development? I should really learn to control these tangents. So . . . yeah, Mike's hot.

Multiple kinds of Lost

I admit it. I am obsessed with "Lost". I am so obsessed that I blew through three Best Buy gift cards to pick up the video game, which so far is a bit disappointing. Argh, I should have rented it! I'll give it more time, though. The TV show is only THE BEST SHOW EVER. I'm not sure if it's even possible to be a casual fan of that show.

I feel kind of silly writing this at this point, since almost no one knows about this blog. Of course there's a part of me that prefers it that way. That part of me has not helped me very much so far though, so let's not pay attention to him.

Argh, I hate this feeling of confusion. My certainty about my sexuality is in a constant state of flux. There are some days when I am on the verge of deciding that I am gay. Other times (like right now) I have serious doubts. Wow, it's taking me forever to write this paragraph. I'm having a hard time trying to decide how personal to make this. I think I'll back off for now.

Uhhh . . . so . . . yeah. I tend to bounce around a lot. Not literally, of course. Hmm . . . the fact that I found that funny means it is getting late. Later!