Second chance

Okay, time to finish the story from a couple weeks ago.

So, before I went to San Diego I came upon Eric's Facebook profile through a mutual friend. I somewhat impulsively decided to text him to see how he was. To my surprise, he responded by calling me and we talked for a while. He seemed happy to hear from me, and suggested we meet up again. Now remember, this is the guy who cancelled on my three times in one week after we had an awesome first date. Suffice it to say I was approaching him with much caution. However, he told me in the conversation that he had realized recently he had a tendency to push people away and he was trying to change that. So, I decided to give him another chance. But, HE would have to lead the way, and I considered him on "dating probation."

One wrinkle: I added him on Facebook, and on the way down to San Diego Wes asked me, "How do you know Eric?" Turns out he knows him too, and went out with him a couple times. "He's an asshole," he said. Later he elaborated that he didn't really quite remember why the guy was an asshole, but they had dropped out of contact. It was definitely jealousy talking. I felt bad, but I knew I had to make my own decision about Eric.

We texted back and forth a bit while I was in San Diego. The day after my long date with San Diego guy, I was at work texting with Eric to set up a meet up. I said I could meet that day or the next. He said he was free that day, so we made plans for him to come to my place. That night he did, and we went and got sushi and frozen yogurt. We had a good time, and good conversation. The conversation continued in the car while we finished our yogurt, then we ended up making out. After that I invited him to come back to my place to watch a movie or something. I wasn't sure if he would go for it, since he usually gets up really early, but agreed.

We get back to my place, and start cuddling/making out on my bed. The TV never gets turned on. I don't necessarily have the intention of things going further than cuddling, but things escalate. Note that HE is the one that escalates it. He removes my shirt. He unbuttons my pants. So I do the same to him. Before long I'm naked, then he is. We do hands, we do mouths. Here he is, the fourth guy I've done anything with in bed, right after the third.

Problem is . . . he gets curious for some reason. He stops for a moment and asks me when the last time I did something with someone was. I . . . am an honest person. "Recently . . ." I stammered. "This weekend?" he asked. "Yes." Damn, why couldn't this have happened any time but now?

I asked him if that was a problem, and he said no. But he asked further questions. "Who was he?" "What did you guys do?" I assured him it was a date from OkCupid who lives in San Diego, and all we did was hands. However, my thoughts turned to the pictures I posted on Facebook of the San Diego crew, which included Wes. Perhaps Eric thought I was dating Wes, and was cheating on him? Or maybe he's just very prudish when it comes to these things (and here I thought I was, haha).

In any case, we continued for a bit after the awkward pause, but then suddenly Eric got up and said, "Sorry to cut it short, but I get up at 6 in the morning." He dressed, gave me a kiss, and left. I never believed for a second that it wasn't about the revelation about me having fooled around with someone in SD.

My suspicions have been all but confirmed by the fact that Eric is no longer texting me. Now that we are Facebook friends though, I see that he is a little . . . strange. And after talking with Wes about it in more detail, it seems that Eric really does have a track record of being flaky.

I have no regrets about giving him another chance. I got better closure this time, and can now confidently say that he is just not right for me.

Meanwhile, I have made plans to meet up with San Diego guy again after the Thanksgiving Holiday. Let's christen him. I'll call him Ron. Because he currently has a beard and is from San Diego. Just like Ron Burgundy. :-P

A much needed pick me up

Seems like whenever I hit emotional rock bottom I have a good first date to lift my spirits, haha.

I had dinner at a sushi restaurant with a guy I met on Grindr last night. Recent law school graduate. I will assign him the name Jared. For no particular reason, haha.

The shopping center where the restaurant was is always super crowded and parking is a nightmare. Jared lucked out and found a spot immediately, but I wasn't so lucky. I drove around the lot in a futile attempt before deciding to try my luck across the street. I saw him waiting outside the restaurant as I drove by, so I shouted, "Be with you eventually, Jared!" He laughed and then texted me an apology for picking a place with such a bad parking situation.

Fifteen minutes later or so I finally joined him. Immediately I noticed that he is quite a bit more on the feminine-acting side than most of the guys I've gone out with, as far as his voice and some of his mannerisms. However, he is also extremely cute.

I informed Jared that I was quite the sushi newbie, having only started eating it within the past year (in order to impress Ben, but I naturally left out that part, haha). I let him take the lead as far as deciding what rolls to order, with my input as far as my likes. We ended up ordering three different rolls, and all were quite good. Salmon, shrimp tempura, and the "spider roll." I was stuffed afterward. Jared is quite skinny and said he doesn't usually eat very much, so hopefully I didn't make him eat more than he wanted, haha.

The conversation was good. We covered a lot of topics from family, travel, school, hobbies, to coming out. I was pleasantly surprised that he was a relative late bloomer too. He didn't first get an inkling that he might be gay until he was 20, which is actually later than me (it was 18 for me). I was a bit disappointed to find out that he is not very close with his family, and his mom is a bit uncomfortable with his sexuality.

Overall the date was very nice. And in the end I was glad I parked across the street. Jared offered to drive me back to my car. He pulled over next to it and we hugged. I gave him a peck on the cheek and he sort of giggled. I decided to go for the whole enchilada. We chatted a bit more about his upcoming trip to Vegas (he was leaving after our date), and then I went for the full kiss. We kissed a bit, and then I took my leave with a smile, wishing him a safe journey.

While driving away from the parking lot I saw him pull over at a gas station to fill up. A few minutes later I received a text from him saying what a pleasure it was meeting me. I was happy that he felt comfortable sending that text so quickly. When I got home I replied, and told him I thought he was extremely cute. He reciprocated the compliment, and said I had great eyes and a great smile.

Today he texted me to say hi and we began chatting. He made it to Vegas and is hanging out with his friends. I was happy that he reached out. There may be potential with this one. He lives close, and he's not evasive. Nor does he seem to be the type to give mixed signals.

Speaking of mixed signals, I got closure in the Eric situation. After still not getting a confirmation from him about meeting up today, I texted him to say, "Never heard back from you man. What's up? Please don't leave me hanging. The ball is in your court."

Eric soon replied, "I'm sorry I've been so MIA. I'm just really trying to keep up. I don't mean to leave you hanging. You're a funny talented beautiful guy and I would be honored to be in a relationship with someone like you but I can't be your guy right now. I'm just not ready or able to date. Just decided to refocus on myself. I hope all the best with you and your career."

Well, I'm glad he finally was open with me. He's obviously got issues and I don't need to deal with that. I replied back that I was sorry if the first date went a little too fast, I just really liked him. I told him I wanted to get to know him better, even if just as a friend, and he knew where to find me.

So I can close the door on that guy. Bummer, but at least this revelation came after my good date with Jared.

As for the other guy that I was corresponding with on Grindr (the one who went to Texas on business), I finally met up with him after improv practice the other night. It was really late and he seemed pretty exhausted. Nice guy and decent conversation, but our texting chemistry didn't really seem to translate to in person, haha. Perhaps he's friend material.

I am still so happy I got into the improv troupe. Weekly practice is a great way to recharge my batteries, especially when I feel like I did well. And it gives me something interesting to share with people. Jared was impressed at how many hobbies I have (improv, guitar, hiking, etc)

Ben continues to "like" my Facebook statuses, especially anything related to my improv exploits. I've been on the fence about whether to ask him to stop or just tolerate it until I'm desensitized. I'll leave it alone for now.

So my mood is better. Here's hoping it sticks for a while.

Getting better

Hello all,

Just been enjoying a relaxing weekend with family. My parents are in town so I've been visiting with them, my sisters, nephews and nieces. My cousin Roger came into town to see everyone as well.

Several bits of news.

First: I actually did hear back from Eric again. He texted me Wednesday morning and even sent a pic of his dad's get well cake. Next best thing to a doctor's note, lol. He even was the one to propose getting together for a date day, such as going to the beach or something. The only downside, he put the scheduling ball back in my court by saying, "If you're ever free on a Saturday..." So much for his promise to meet me halfway this week. So I'm still a little disappointed that he's not more proactive about setting a day, but at least he does want to see me again. I'll probably text him and say I'm free next Saturday, then see what he does with that information, haha.

Tuesday I had a first date with a law student. Quite tall and a black/white mix, which seems to be a pretty cool combo :) Then again I seem to be attracted to guys of mixed ethnicity. Two of the three guys I had kissed previously were a mix (Ben and Josh). I'm not sure about Eric. Guess we can call this new guy Lawrence, because it has the word "law" in it. That's right, I'm original like that. Anyways, we had drinks and chatted. We covered some dangerous first-date topics like coming out experiences and past relationships. Intriguingly, Lawrence was engaged to a woman at one point before coming out. I managed to talk about my relationship very briefly without hinting at how much and for how long its end affected me. Anyways, the conversation was good. I feel my demeanor was nice and friendly throughout, though I may have smiled a little too much, lol. Afterward he walked me back to the structure where I parked and we parted with a kiss. Heck yeah, first kiss number four and it was nice. My first first kiss standing up, and the first done in a public place rather than in a house or a parked car.

I texted Lawrence the next day to let him know that I enjoyed meeting him, and would like to meet up again sometime. He concurred, although I didn't detect much enthusiasm (probably over thinking, it was a text after all). I said I would love to see his new kitten sometime. He responded, "Is that just your way of getting me to invite you up lol" I responded that I wasn't that sneaky, haha. Not sure if he was being flirtatious or what. He hasn't initiated contact since then. I'll probably hit him up soon. I know he's busy getting ready for classes.

Last weekend I finally joined the rest of civilized society and got a smartphone. So of course what do I do that same day . . . Download Grindr. Now before I was against using that app due to its reputation as a hookup app. However, I keep hearing stories of guys meeting their boyfriends on there (including my friend YouTube Guy), so I decided it wouldn't hurt to use it, as long as my intentions are made clear and I don't mind being propositioned once in a while.

I got into conversations with several guys. One happens to be from the state that my parents retired to. Eventually we traded numbers and we've been texting back and forth throughout the week. He went on a business trip to Texas and passed a bit of his downtime chatting with me. He also taught me how to use Emojis, the cute little colorful emoticons. He's pretty cute in his pictures and seems really nice. I'm planning to meet up with him in a few days.

Another guy from Grindr lives near where I'm staying this weekend. Once I leave my sister's house I'm planning to meet up with him. We traded Instagram info. He's really cute.

Other bit of news this week: I got into the local improv troupe. That was exciting. I posted the news on Facebook and got a lot of likes. I was happy, a mood I havent had much since January. Also on Facebook I got some comments of congrats, including from Ben. That got me thinking about him again, sigh. But this troupe will be good. It will give me something to keep my mind occupied. Something I may not have even done if I were still with him.

So, things are going pretty well right now. Nice to not be rejected for once, after being academically and personally rejected at the beginning of this year. Nice that someone recognizes the awesomeness that is Cal. Haha.