I had my second date with Ron this week. We met midway between us and had dinner. When we first met he had quite the bushy beard. This time he was clean shaven, and looked quite good. Dinner was nice, then he drove us down to a nearby pier. By then it was dark and there were few people around. Just some fisherman. It was pretty crazy walking to the end of the pier, away from the city lights and toward the dark expanse of ocean. It felt like being at the end of the world. We put our arms around each other, but I let him know about the bad sore throat I'd been experiencing so we didn't kiss on the mouth. When we came back to the shore we watched some trains go by, then went to sit in the car to warm up. We cuddled while listening to Christmas music on his car radio. Eventually the time came to part ways, so he drove me back to my car. He suggested we meet up again next week.
Unfortunately our time is limited currently as he works weekends and we live quite far from each other. Still, I'd like to keep seeing him. I have a chemistry and repor with him that is quite enjoyable.
I seem to have reached a new breakthrough in my interminable recovery from being dumped, which happened more than 10 months ago now. I exchanged friendly emails with Ben over the holiday, and I was a lot less distant and more friendly than I was last time. I left him with my hope that he would eventually be ready to work with me to achieve a friendship, but I said that now was not quite the time. I don't know if this had anything to do with making me feel better, but in a way it felt like taking the power back. I also suggested that perhaps some day he and his boyfriend could check out one of my improv shows after we're back on good terms. I hope to be able to count both of them among my friends eventually. I'm getting better at not dwelling on all the crap. If I want their friendship I'm going to have to just forgive.
Other than Ron dating has kind of slowed. I was getting too discouraged and I realized too much of the dating I did this year was about me trying to find a replacement boyfriend to heal the hurt and loneliness. I'm easing back now. I like Ron so I'll keep seeing him, but I'm keeping my expectations in check. There's still the instinct to compare, but I'm trying to fight it.
Okay, time to finish the story from a couple weeks ago.
So, before I went to San Diego I came upon Eric's Facebook profile through a mutual friend. I somewhat impulsively decided to text him to see how he was. To my surprise, he responded by calling me and we talked for a while. He seemed happy to hear from me, and suggested we meet up again. Now remember, this is the guy who cancelled on my three times in one week after we had an awesome first date. Suffice it to say I was approaching him with much caution. However, he told me in the conversation that he had realized recently he had a tendency to push people away and he was trying to change that. So, I decided to give him another chance. But, HE would have to lead the way, and I considered him on "dating probation."
One wrinkle: I added him on Facebook, and on the way down to San Diego Wes asked me, "How do you know Eric?" Turns out he knows him too, and went out with him a couple times. "He's an asshole," he said. Later he elaborated that he didn't really quite remember why the guy was an asshole, but they had dropped out of contact. It was definitely jealousy talking. I felt bad, but I knew I had to make my own decision about Eric.
We texted back and forth a bit while I was in San Diego. The day after my long date with San Diego guy, I was at work texting with Eric to set up a meet up. I said I could meet that day or the next. He said he was free that day, so we made plans for him to come to my place. That night he did, and we went and got sushi and frozen yogurt. We had a good time, and good conversation. The conversation continued in the car while we finished our yogurt, then we ended up making out. After that I invited him to come back to my place to watch a movie or something. I wasn't sure if he would go for it, since he usually gets up really early, but agreed.
We get back to my place, and start cuddling/making out on my bed. The TV never gets turned on. I don't necessarily have the intention of things going further than cuddling, but things escalate. Note that HE is the one that escalates it. He removes my shirt. He unbuttons my pants. So I do the same to him. Before long I'm naked, then he is. We do hands, we do mouths. Here he is, the fourth guy I've done anything with in bed, right after the third.
Problem is . . . he gets curious for some reason. He stops for a moment and asks me when the last time I did something with someone was. I . . . am an honest person. "Recently . . ." I stammered. "This weekend?" he asked. "Yes." Damn, why couldn't this have happened any time but now?
I asked him if that was a problem, and he said no. But he asked further questions. "Who was he?" "What did you guys do?" I assured him it was a date from OkCupid who lives in San Diego, and all we did was hands. However, my thoughts turned to the pictures I posted on Facebook of the San Diego crew, which included Wes. Perhaps Eric thought I was dating Wes, and was cheating on him? Or maybe he's just very prudish when it comes to these things (and here I thought I was, haha).
In any case, we continued for a bit after the awkward pause, but then suddenly Eric got up and said, "Sorry to cut it short, but I get up at 6 in the morning." He dressed, gave me a kiss, and left. I never believed for a second that it wasn't about the revelation about me having fooled around with someone in SD.
My suspicions have been all but confirmed by the fact that Eric is no longer texting me. Now that we are Facebook friends though, I see that he is a little . . . strange. And after talking with Wes about it in more detail, it seems that Eric really does have a track record of being flaky.
I have no regrets about giving him another chance. I got better closure this time, and can now confidently say that he is just not right for me.
Meanwhile, I have made plans to meet up with San Diego guy again after the Thanksgiving Holiday. Let's christen him. I'll call him Ron. Because he currently has a beard and is from San Diego. Just like Ron Burgundy. :-P
Ok, let's see if I can bust out the San Diego story before I fall asleep, haha.
Basically, it was a crazy weekend. YouTube Guy (I'm gonna have to give him a proper pseudonym one of these days haha), his boyfriend, Wes and I drove down to San Diego together. Nina was renting a beach house for the long Veterans Day weekend. Also in attendance were my buddy Walter and several others. Walter was the only straight guy. This held true even on Saturday night when a bunch of Nina's friends joined us. This introduced two guys who I later learned were bisexual. One was a super tall (6'6!), blue-eyed hunk of a man from Minnesota. The other was a really cute Indian guy (who I later was told is half Italian...yowza). Man, if I had known that night they were bi...I probably would have had more to drink, lol.
Out of all of us, Nina was definitely the craziest party animal. It seems every time someone new came over she had to run away and put on clothes. She's . . . a free spirit, that one. She made it her mission to make out with this one girl. She did, but while black out drunk so she didn't even remember meeting her the next day.
It was great seeing YouTube Guy and his boyfriend so soon after they visited before. They have really become close friends and have been helping me try to put my personal life back together. And not just by pressuring me to buy Andrew Christian. Speaking of which, the tall guy was dared to put YTG's boyfriend's pair on. He wore them quite well, haha.
Sunday YouTube Guy, his boyfriend and Wes all had to leave. Nina offered to drive me home if I stayed through Monday so I bid them farewell. Sunday was an interesting day. I had intended to rent a bike, but instead napped a lot. I ate dinner with Nina, during which I spoke to her about my dating woes and my progress moving on. She revealed that Wes had spoken to her and admitted he was confused about why I invited him along. This made me feel guilty. For me it had been a no brainer. He was friends with the group now and he had been at Nina's party the weekend before when we were discussing the trip. It felt natural to invite him since we had been encouraged to invite whoever we wanted. I realized things still aren't totally resolved with him...but after talking to him again last night I think they're headed in the right direction. Nina tried to tell me I should give dating him another chance since he might help heal my still wounded heart. I couldn't do that if the attraction wasn't right though. If I am to compromise on attraction, then why even seek to date guys in the first place? I can't use someone and risk hurting them just to help me with my own issues. That would make me quite the hypocrite.
Anyways, on to the good stuff. Three nights in a row of decidedly gay activities.
Sunday:
Nina, the cute Indian/Italian guy and I came back to Nina's beach house after we went to play board games with her friends. The guy being a bisexual with a serious girlfriend, Nina and I definitely got cozy without pushing the boundaries too far. I already knew that the guy had told Nina I was cute, and in my tipsy state I was a bit emboldened. Imagine the scene: The guy sitting on the couch, me laying with my head in his lap, and Nina standing in front of both of us completely naked. We carried on a conversation like this. Craziness. Much respect to that guy! Although apparently he did say that if he'd been single he would have totally loved to fool around with us.
Monday: I had a date lined up from online. It went REALLY well. We had lunch and talked. From there we moved on to Balboa Park where I went for the kiss as we walked through a cactus garden. From there we went back to the beach house where we cuddled for a while, had dinner, and watched TV. And then this guy became the third guy I've done things with in the bedroom (it was so nice having such a big bedroom!) It was only hand jobs (this was the first date after all), but it was nice. And I even impressed the guy with my . . . projectile range haha. After that we showered together. Nina texted me offering to drive me back early the next morning before work, which meant my guy could spend the night. In the end the date went from noon one day to 5 am the next morning. I'd call that a success!
Since then we've talked about meeting up again. Now, there is quite a distance between us...but I'm just looking forward to seeing him again and seeing where it goes. No expectations.
Tuesday:
The next morning after my guy left I was treated to the most beautiful sunrise over the water. I wish he had been able to stick around slightly longer to enjoy it with me. In any case, I took tons of pictures then Nina drove me home.
At this point dear readers I need to go, but the story is not over! Tuesday night I had a date with someone from the past...a few months ago that is. I'm still scratching my head over what went down that night. To be continued!
