My friendship with Ben is growing. Every time I talk to him on the phone we end up chatting for at least 30 minutes it seems. Sunday we texted back and forth about my plans to come up to LA this weekend, and he invited me to go to a karaoke place with him and his friends. I've never done that before, so that should be an interesting experience. Plus it will be the first time I meet some of his friends, other than briefly meeting some of his roommates. Meanwhile I'm trying to interpret various things. For instance, while we were chatting I tried to give him a little motivational boost, since he's been having a rather stressful time at work lately. He responded back with a thank you and said "I've been enjoying chatting with you." An innocent enough statement, but why explicitly state it? In addition, the last time we hiked we shared some food from a cafe in the park. I was going to sit across from him but he suggested we sit next to each other, so I complied. The better to share our food, right? Haha, I don't know. On the one hand I feel like we've gotten to know each other a little bit better since he relegated me to the Friend Zone, so it's possible that these are signs that his affection for me is growing, and he might reconsider dating at some point. Or my wishful thinking could just be leading me to read too far into things. I'm just trying to figure out whether or not my place in the Friend Zone is a temporary assignment. His reasoning for putting me there was that he wanted someone with more experience, so it wasn't that there was no spark or anything. I know he likes me on some level. I'd just like to know whether his feelings are growing at all . . . because I know mine definitely are.
Like I said before, Ben's the only guy I've gone out with that I've felt this way about. Jake had my emotions for a while, but those dispersed pretty quickly after we met up in person. Aaron's the only other one who's managed to build up any amount of affection, though as I said before it's more of a friend connection (I wussed out on giving him the talk by the way, I'd better call him tomorrow). I spoke to a new guy on the phone last night that I was quite interested in, based on his profile. His voice was quite feminine though, which unfortunately was a bit of a turn off for me. I feel bad, and I'll probably still meet up with him if given the chance . . . but yeah, can't help what you're attracted to.
With Ben, it's like he's the whole package. I like his personality, his sense of humor, his looks, his smile, his voice . . . he's super nice, we have several major interests in common, we get along great and time flies by when I'm talking to him. I'm afraid I like him TOO much, and since he already disappointed me once I'm a little afraid of putting myself out there in case he hasn't changed his mind since then. So I guess that's why I'm looking for the signs first. I also don't want to come on too strongly. If I had my way I'd be talking to him a lot more often, haha.
I guess all I can do is just meet up with him this weekend and see how things go.
2 comments:
I think you are in a good place with Ben. Try not to get your hopes up too high by reading too much into little things but hell, we all do that when we like someone, we can't help ourselves, it's like we have to fill idle thoughts with something more meaningful.
If it is meant to happen, building and establishing a firm friendship with him first is going to pay off if it moves to anything romantic -- and if it doesn't, you consolation prize is you got a great friend made in the process -- sounds like win either way.
If you go by simple raw attraction, things can burn hot fast but also burn out quickly if you don't really connect beyond a physical way, so having the emotional bond will serve you well in the long run.
Resist the temptation to push things along if they don't seem to advance on the romance side, just follow his lead for now since it really is still so early in the development stages.
Awww, that's cute. :-P Who knows, let things evolve naturally and see where it takes you. He may reconsider, he may not, but don't push things unless you feel there's a clear opportunity to seize.
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