Some people think of sexuality as being black or white. You're one thing, or another. Kinsey thought that was too simplistic, and introduced the idea of it being a continuum. Two extremes, and an infinite number of possibilities between them. It occurred to me that even that idea might be too simplistic. Maybe part of my trouble is trying to place myself on a one dimensional spectrum when reality is much more complex.
Society is part of the problem. It seems that our society is obsessed with labels and definitions. I hate the term "grunge" as it is applied to early 90's rock. Most of the big "grunge" bands like Nirvana, Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, and Pearl Jam sound NOTHING alike. Each have their own unique style. However, they all became popular around the same time and largely came out of Seattle, so people felt the need to group them together and label them. Not that I'm blaming people for having this tendency. It's how we make sense of the chaotic world we live in.
As far as sexual orientation goes, the labels are obvious. Straight. Gay. Bisexual. Asexual. Makes it sound so simple when it's really not.
I feel attractions to some guys and I feel attractions to some girls, but the type of attraction is not the same. For guys the strongest attraction is visual. I find them "easy on the eyes" so to speak. Not to say that I find girls hideous. It's just that good looking guys capture my attention more. On the other hand I've had a number of crushes on girls that were emotional in nature. Sometimes there are exceptions to the trend, and I will find a girl particularly physically attractive, or I will feel emotionally connected with a guy. Lust doesn't really enter the picture for me, or at least it hasn't yet. I like how a fellow blogger (Aek from "The Masks We Wear") described how he didn't go through the stereotypical "raging hormones" phase of adolescence. Neither did I, and I think lacking this intense sexual drive made me feel abnormal, and set me off on this path of confusion, obsessed with trying to label my sexuality.
I guess the bottom line is that sexuality is a lot more complicated then most people realize. I wonder if any of that made any sense at all. Drop me a line anyone who comes across this, I'm always curious about what other people think.
2 comments:
You're so right on sexuality being a complicated issue and not as easy as Kinsey puts it.
I think you're right in that society places a lot of emphasis on labels, which makes sexuality so complicated and also makes us so fearful of pursuing a male relationship or conforming to the norms that society has created based on labeling.
If you ever want to chat on AIM let me know and I'll send you my screenname.
Woah, you mentioned me! Haha. Feel free to send me an email or chat on AIM if you want. It's always good to meet new people. :)
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