Stranger in a sexual land

I had a good visit with my friend "Janice" tonight. We went and got food at a food truck and then came back to my place to hang out. She's the friend with whom I'm able to talk about deep topics like politics, religion, and philosophy. She's also the only friend I'm "out" to. I filled her in on the most recent happenings on my self-discovery quest: going to the gay bar in Chicago, my anxiety issues, the talk with my mom, and my concerns over my sex drive and attempts to improve it. She offered some helpful advice, reminding me that not being quite as driven toward sex as some people isn't the worst thing in the world. She was also optimistic that once I was in a relationship with the right person I would be able to figure things out in the sexual realm. I hope so. There has been some times when I felt what probably was some sexual attraction, so it could be that I really just need the right context (as some commenters have suggested in the past). At this point I am more upset by the sex drive issue than the prospect of being bisexual or gay. Hopefully if I ever manage to be in a relationship with someone it won't be too much of an issue, or it will improve before then. It's not like I don't want to have sex. I just wish I wanted it more than I do. I don't seem to be all that driven towards having it, the desire to get naked with someone and go to town just isn't very strong. Janice described me as being not very "instinctual." I don't really notice the testosterone gel the doctor prescribed having that much of a noticeable effect on my libido (though unless I'm imagining things I feel like I'm seeing better results from the gym than I have for a while, haha). I'll keep at it and hope for the best. Meanwhile, I'm getting all self-conscious just writing about this. I crossed the "attracted to men" hurdle long ago and these blogs make me feel less alone about that, but every time I write about having a lower than average sex drive it makes me feel like an alien.