"Ace" of hearts

One more quick post . . . it didn't quite fit with the year in review, haha.

My most recent explorations into the topic of sexuality have led me to read a bit more about asexuality. I find myself relating to that more than any other orientation lately, especially since learning that they can prefer one sex over another when it comes to nonsexual attractions (physical, romantic, etc.) When it all comes down to it I really can't think of any times that I've experienced what I would call sexual attraction, and even if I had, it definitely doesn't have the level of importance for me that it seems to have for most people. My attraction to guys leads me to like to look at them . . . and perhaps want to talk to them . . . and that's about it.

An ironic thought occurred to me today. If the "Exotic Becomes Erotic" theory is true, then the reason why I have a physical attraction to handsome/fit guys is because I felt different from them growing up. What if the reason I felt different was my lack of sex drive? What if, paradoxically, my lack of sexual attraction caused my same sex physical attraction? Who knows, I just thought it was a pretty funny idea.

I still have some sort of attraction to girls, I think. It's not sexual. The physical element is not as strong as for guys. I guess maybe romantic/emotional, as I've guessed before. So still not sure whether a relationship with a guy would be right (especially since they tend to have higher sex drives). It seems asexuals in the area have had meet ups before. I might have to look into that.