Tuesday night I went on a date with the guy I referred to as the buff nerd in the last entry. He's pretty much exactly that! He described himself on his profile as a nerd trapped in an athlete's body. He lives somewhat far from me (though I've met people from farther), so we met in the middle. We met at a shopping mall, and the first thing we did was browse a comic book store and talk about how we both used to watch the Spider-man animated series. We walked and talked for a while and eventually made our way to Chili's. We stayed there for several hours, finishing our food and talking until almost closing time. I ended up being way more open about my experiences than I was expecting to be. Turns out this guy (let's christen him Josh) is pretty much just starting out in the gay dating scene, much as I did a year and a half ago. Although he does have a lot more experience than me in fooling around with guys. One unfortunate fact: his family is deeply religious and quite homophobic, so he is not out to any of them. Sounds like he's a bit on the fence about whether he is bi or gay (damn it . . . not sure I want to get involved with another one of those at this point). He does sound quite curious to give a relationship with a guy a go. He seemed a bit worried about getting his heartbroken, but I told him that that's the risk you have to take if you want to experience the joys of a relationship (I even used my example from the Oz movie, he liked that, haha).
I really had a great time with him. Unlike some of the dates with Brody, I actually felt engaged in the conversation the whole time and didn't feel like the other guy was dominating it. After we left the restaurant we went and sat in my car in the parking lot for a while (at Josh's suggestion) to talk more. I kept marveling at how hot his physique is (what can I say, I have a thing for muscles, haha). He even got a little affectionate with me, giving me a flirtatious joking punch at one point, and giving me a big hug before we parted ways. We didn't do more, because earlier he had talked about how every guy he has gone out with seemed to expect action on the first date (at the very least making out), and I had told him I wasn't like that. Would have been a bit hypocritical of me, no? Ha ha. But the thought did cross my mind!
He also said that he is open to casual play with trusted friends. Which has never been my style but I'm a little bit tempted if it were to come to that, haha. That way I could potentially fool around with him even if we just ended up as friends. I really want to expand my experience beyond the one person I've done anything with, but not being into casual one-night stand hookups it's not as easy for me as it might be for some. We'll see what happens. But that was hands down one of my most enjoyable first-date experiences.
There are obviously reasons to be cautious about this guy. I'm very hesitant to get involved with another person who isn't sure about their orientation or what direction they want to go. But I still think "go with the flow" is the best philosophy to have, so I'm not going to over-think things or get ahead of myself.
I also had lunch with a new friend from the LGBT social group. He had expressed interest in my story so I met up with him to talk. His story was very interesting too. full of a lot more homophobia and relationship drama than mine has. It always reminds me to count my blessings when I hear about some of the situations that others have had to go through.
It will be a while before I can meet up with Nick again. Although I did have a brief text conversation with him last night. He is indeed super busy until his finals are over, but he said he hopes we can hang out after.
It's nice having two guys that I'm interested in! That hasn't happened since . . . well since the very beginning of this grand adventure, haha. February 2012 if I'm not mistaken. Oh and I did get a text from Alex the other day, asking me if I was going to LA Pride. I'm not planning to, but it was nice of him to check in with me. I thought he had pretty much written me off. I still don't think he is interested, but I like him and would like to be friends.
That's it for now!
5 comments:
'A nerd in the body of an athlete'... hmmm sounds good to me haha.
About the homophobic/religious parents and the bi-thing: first things first. First get to know the guy better, it's only when you're at the point of considering a relationship with him that the above does matter and you have to figure out if you can deal with that.
Sounds like this guy has great potential :)
I am trying to talk my BF into going to LA Pride.
I've been following your blog for a while now, and I decided to comment.
It's good to hear that you've found some potential guys, it seems like every guy you've been on a date with was a little off.
In terms of hooking up, I don't think there's anything wrong with hooking up with guys so long as you're smart about it and do it safely. My first time doing anything with a guy was through a hookup. I was terrified at first, but then I realized that it wasn't nearly as big of a deal as I thought. I think it's a good idea to know the person you're hooking up with. A friends with benefits thing might be exactly what you're looking for if you want to get your feet wet. That way your comfortable with who you're doing it with.
Hot nerd with buff body? Can't see any negatives in that. :-) He's got both the physical and intellectual bases covered. Once you find out how he is emotionally, and then whether your values mesh, could be a home run.
Let him lead -- if he want to rush things a bit, just tag along and see where it takes you.
Potential indeed! See how things progress, don't push it along. This could turn into bf material, or perhaps FWB material (either way is probably pretty good right now, lol).
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