The chemicals between us

Dating's going alright. I've been talking a lot with Kenny over the last couple days. We Google chatted a lot, and since Kenny wanted to do a webcam chat before meeting in person, we did that the other night for two hours. We had a good conversation, and he gave me several compliments. He said I am very easy to talk to, and he said I'm easy on the eyes :-) He is too. I met up with him in person today for lunch. I feel like the conversation got a little strained at points, probably because we'd covered so many topics via email and webcam before. Ugh, getting deja vu from my experience with Jake last year, haha. However, unlike with Jake, Kenny still seems to have some interest in me. I wasn't sure after the date ended since things were getting a little awkward, but I just texted him to tell him I enjoyed meeting him and he responded back that he looks forward to getting to know me better. So, we'll see where that goes. We might go hiking together next weekend.

As for Alex, I've been texting back and forth with him as well. He's pretty busy so we haven't scheduled a second meet up yet, but I think we will. Then there's a couple other guys that I've been chatting with that I haven't met up with yet. It really is a process, this dating thing.

I'm still concerned about chemistry. It seems like it's very common for things to seem really good when communicating online only for it to fizzle once we meet in person. I'm sure this is a common problem with dating. I'm just worried about my ability to find good chemistry with someone. The Ben situation made me all confused, since what I thought was good chemistry apparently wasn't. Maybe I haven't experienced good chemistry yet. I just worry about whether I'm charismatic, interesting, sexy enough. Heck, can someone with sexual desires as low as mine even be sexy?

Yesterday was my friend Phillip's birthday party. We went out to a bar, and afterward sobered up at an IHOP. There I got involved in a pretty interesting discussion about sexuality. I've never discussed that topic in a group setting before. It was interesting playing the role of the openly gay guy. I chatted with my friend Nina's boyfriend quite a bit. Turns out Nina wasn't aware of the concept of gay stereotypes. Her boyfriend and I were blown away. We had to explain to her that Jack from Will & Grace represents the "stereotypical" gay guy, whereas Will is more "straight acting" (apologies to those who don't like that term). It was actually kind of refreshing to find someone who was ignorant of stereotypes like that.

I also (in private) opened up to Nina about my general lack of sexual attractions. She assured me it will happen with the right person. I hope so. In the meantime I will continue to date guys for the same reasons I started . . . I tend to notice attractive ones more often and I tend to crush on them more often. Oh, and I successfully fell in love with one, there's that too.