Now, hopefully you all won't be too disappointed but I'm a bit too modest to share the details of an intimate experience with someone I care about. Sorry . . . haha.
What I will say is that Ben is an amazingly considerate, patient, and communicative guy, and my first time couldn't have been more comfortable. The idea of a one-night stand now really seems crazy to me. I don't know how I could have done it had it not been with someone that I knew well and trusted.
The rest of Memorial Day before that was great too. It had been nearly two weeks since I last saw Ben, so it was great to pick him up at the airport and go to lunch. We ate at the Farmer's Market in Los Angeles, which is full of great food. After eating we walked around and even made some public displays of affection. We sat in the grass, me leaned up against him, and later we walked a bit holding hands. That made me a bit too self-conscious, I couldn't keep it up for very long. Stupid society. Then we spent several hours back at his place just lounging around, talking and cuddling. We met up with my cousin, who was the first member of my family that Ben has met. This morning after we got (some) sleep, Ben ran over to the store to get food while I was in the shower, then he made me breakfast while I was getting ready for work. He's soooo sweet . . . :-)
Today after I left Ben's and went to work I was feeling a bit . . . confused. I felt like I should be a lot more happy, even euphoric, than I was feeling. I went to the counselor today and shared my concerns, and she suggested something interesting. In the span of two short weeks I took the MCAT, came out to my father, and had my first sexual experience. All three are things that I've been building up to for a long, long time. According to her, it's no surprise that I feel a bit of a let down after accomplishing so many goals in so short a time. Now it's, "what next?" Looks like I need to make me some new goals, haha. Spending next weekend with Ben sounds like a good start.
5 comments:
Sick as you found a cool guy!
I can kind of relate to the whole feeling confused thing. A lot happens in a short period of time and it sort of screws with you a bit. Back in 2011, in about the span of a week or two, I admitted to myself I liked guys, I told my best mate, lost my best mate, told all my friends and had my first guy on guy sexual experience. It really screwed with my mind. It passes though. You just need time to absorb all the new things going on.
Cheers man.
You are really breaking down those barriers -- good for you. It's nice to know that taking things slow did not impede your first time. Ben was originally worried that he could not learn as much from you due to your inexperience but that doesn't seem to have dampen his spirit of discovery.
We often put more pressure on ourselves than we need to and overly worry about things -- and so when the real thing turns out less than our expectations, there's some let down. But this is good -- you can now build up the excitement to try new things. Don't focus on your lack of experience. Instead soak in all the new feelings and adventures.
Congratulations! An important milestone in your journey and it sounded like you did it with the perfect person. It will get better and better as you "do it", the second time, the third time etc.
No need to over think having sex, really.... ideally, it should come as naturally as breathing, with the right person.
You're moving right along, lol. Congrats. Don't forget to take a step back from time to time and just appreciate things. No need to think "What's next?" when you should savoring the moment. :-)
ha seems like you're having a big time bud! You guys are so sweet and innocent lol.
Indeed don't think (too much) about the sex, just enjoy. It is what it is and because of all the blabla and bragging about it you may think of it as something fantastic but well, it's just sex. Maybe it is fantastic, but only as much as cuddling, kissing, talking and enjoy things together are. At least for me!
Enjoy your time!
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