I had a busy day today. After a haircut I went to my work's holiday party, which was held at a restaurant. A couple of the waiters, especially the one that was serving our table, were extremely attractive. You could tell he works out, he had some big guns. I couldn't help but look at him every time he walked by.
Then I went over to my sister's house for a party. A couple of her friends had kids over, and I spent much of the time playing with my niece and the other kids. My nephews are teens now, so I don't see them as much at parties anymore. They go off on their own, usually with girls. Both of my nephews have girlfriends, something I never had. Hard to believe that, at least in the realm of relationships, my little nephews have more experience than I have.
Anyways, I enjoyed the party. I've always gotten along well with kids, and they usually really like me. There was one kid who I remembered from a previous camping trip out to the desert. He had hung out with me while I played guitar. He was obviously pretty bored with the adult festivities at the party, so I hooked up the Wii for him and we played a little bit. His parents were appreciative that I spent time with him, and his mom said, "You should have children some day." Of course I was flattered, but at the same time that activated the ol' worry system that is my mind. Maybe I'd be a good dad . . . but will be? If I end up with a guy, should I be?
Long after I became comfortable in my mind about the morality of homosexuality, I still struggled with the idea of same-sex couples raising children. It didn't seem fair to the child to make them so vulnerable to ridicule and to deprive them of both a male and female parental figure. Now I think I'm more comfortable with it, largely because I realize that many of the potential negatives that come with having same-sex parents can be compensated for, as long as the most important elements are there (love, support, security). This actually came up in my conversation with "Janice" the other night. She suggested that the female role model in a child's life didn't need to necessarily be the mother. It could be a close friend of the family. "Like a godmother?" I asked.
"Yeah," she said."
"Janice, if things were to play out that way for me . . . would you be my children's godmother?" I asked with a smile.
Janice doesn't believe in God (nor do I, I guess you could call me a secular humanist maybe?) so she jokingly responded that she wouldn't want to be called "god"mother.
"What about science-mother?" I asked.
"Reason-mother?" she suggested.
"Sure, Janice, will you be my kids' reason-mother?" We laughed about that.
I won't take having kids off the table, no matter who I end up with.
1 comment:
There's always a reason why a kid can be bullied for. Because his parents are gay, fat, dumb, poor or whatever, but it's up to those parents to learn the kids to handle this by teaching them social skills.
Janice is right about the role models. My own mum isnt exactly the stereotypical mother figure, my dad doesn't play his stereotypical father role. They have always mixed up those roles, and though maybe that was sometimes a little confusing as I was a child, I have the feeling I didn't miss anything.
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