Goals

Still chuggin' along. I submitted my application to a teaching program so we'll see what happens. I spoke to my friend who attended the same program a few years ago, and he had encouraging things to say. In the meantime, I'm trying to work on myself. I'm trying to really nail down what my major life goals are, because for a while I was feeling completely passionless and I did not like it. I want to want something. One thing I do know I want is a balanced life. I don't want my life to be completely dominated by my career. I also want to make sure to devote time to my personal interests.

One interest I've always had is creativity. I used to love creative writing as a kid. I would also put on puppet and magic shows for my parents and make little movies on my computer (this awesome software called 3D Movie Maker . . . so fun!) That craving for creative expression never went away, though it was submerged at times. In recent years it has come out in several ways. I resumed creative writing 2 years ago (still haven't finished the story, I still need to do that). I occasionally attempt to compose music (mostly just coming up with riffs on the guitar, and sometimes a bass line to go with it). I've even tried my hand at writing song lyrics, something that I never thought I could do before. I think it would be fun to take a class in acting or improv. I also take great pleasure in the creative pursuits of others, whether it be in the form of movies, TV shows, video games, music, YouTube videos, websites, etc.

As fascinated as I've always been with creativity, I don't think I would want to try to make a career out of it. When I was a kid, I wanted to be an author. Now that I'm an adult and know more about what a career as an author would actually be like, I'm content to keep writing as a hobby. Still, it's important to me that I continue to find time for creative pursuits, so there's a goal. Hopefully teaching will provide me with the kind of balance that will allow for that. I know it can be a pretty consuming profession the first couple of years, but hopefully once I get the hang of it I will be able to have the balance I desire.

Not to say that by choosing teaching I am compromising my true interests. Teaching has also been something I've long thought about, and education is something else I would call a passion.

I am a bit nervous about the prospect of being a teacher and having a gay relationship, should that be the way I go. But I do tend to get ahead of myself. First thing's first, after all. I really am going to have to test the waters, and soon. I don't feel like I have much of a sex drive, but I'll never be able to know for sure unless I actually go and interact with people. Yes, I know, I've said this before.

So maybe that can be another goal . . . go to some (nonlocal) gay bar or club. At least once.