My accomplishment of the night is learning to play "Name" and "Slide" by the Goo Goo Dolls. They use alternate tunings, but once the guitar is tuned they're not that hard. Guitar has been a hobby of mine since high school. If I had the motivation I could probably be a lot better, but I'm pretty content with my limited ability. It's a nice way to unwind.
And unwinding is definitely what I needed. This felt like a long week. In the early part of the week I was actually feeling pretty good. I think part of it was due to my attempts to change the way I think about sexuality (see the last entry). Work was really busy this week, though, and today the confusion came back in full force. There was a party, and the number of girls that piqued my interest was zero, while the number of guys was 2. One was actually the "crush" (whom I've never met) that I mentioned in a previous entry. He was talking with one of my coworkers, but I didn't try to enter the conversation because I was talking with another guy. This one was probably one of the best looking guys I have ever had a conversation with, and I would be lying if I said that I didn't feel an attraction of some kind. So yet another bit of evidence that I definitely have some level of same-sex attraction. Whether I could comfortably go from that to actual relationships . . . is a rather scary thing to think about. I wish I'd had a girlfriend before! At least I would have some relationship experience under my belt so I wouldn't be in the dark about everything at the same time. Oh well. Que sera, sera. (I always think of that song when I start worrying about the future too much. It helps bring me back to the present, haha.)
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