As the year comes to an end there is quite a lot to reflect on. In many ways this year was the flip side of 2012. Whereas 2012 saw the beginning of my dating life and the discovery of my first love, 2013 saw my first heartbreak and the emotional turmoil that followed. At times it has seemed like a constant struggle to be happy, whereas happiness seemed limitless last year.
However, I grew in important ways this year. Getting into the improv troupe was the highlight of the year by far. What started as just a fun thing to dabble in through taking classes has become a major hobby and a cornerstone of my social life. So many friends, new and old, have expressed interest in coming to see me perform, and that makes me feel very good.
Recovering from the heartbreak has itself been a learning and growing experience. For some, my experience brought us closer and allowed me to give useful advice (my "breakup buddy" Sam). For others, my state of mind caused problems (Brody, and to a lesser extent, Wes). For myself, I should hope the experience has made me more emotionally resilient, and given me a better idea of what is important in a partner. I have learned the importance of emotional compatibility (and emotional stability).
I hope that 2014 will see the continuation of my healing. I really want to improve my optimism toward finding someone that touches my heart the way Ben did. At the same time, I recognize that it may not ever feel quite the same right off the bat. There's something special about one's first.
Dating has kind of dwindled over the last month or two. Three main reasons for that. First, I've gotten a bit burned out. Too many disappointments, too many dead ends. I decided I needed to slow down and work on myself more first. Second, I've been sick. I've had a recurring sore throat since Thanksgiving. I went to the doctor . . . Turns out it is mono. He could hardly believe it. Usually people in their late 20s are past the age of getting it apparently. Most people get it in their teens and early 20s. I suggested that it could be because I started dating (and hence, swapping saliva) so relatively late. The doc thought I might be onto something. Finally, I've been enjoying getting to know Ron. We live quite far apart and have only gotten together for dinner twice since the beach house weekend, but he seems like a sweet guy and there may be some potential there. Perhaps the good thing about the distance is that it's forcing us to take things slow. And slow is what I need.
Christmas was good. Spent it with family. Tomorrow we're driving up to see uncles, aunts and my cousins. No long distance calls to a significant other in New Jersey time around.
But as a quote I found on Facebook says:
Don't be sad for someone who gave up on you. Instead feel sorry for them, because they gave up on someone who never would have given up on them.
Happy New Year!
6 comments:
While it was a rough year, you are in a better place, moving on and healing. Most of us knew you would get there eventually but you had to work it thru at your own pace. There's still may be lingering sadness but that's OK, that will fade and you will feel comfortable with yourself again.
Here's wishing 2014 brings you new adventures and experiences that enrich and touch your heart and provide fond memories.
Amen to that sentiment. Hear Hear for 2014.
I like that quote. It feels rather apropos, not only to yourself but to me in ways. May 2014 be full of bright new beginnings. :-)
We haven't heard from you in awhile. Hope you are doing OK.
Thanks for checking in fan of casey. I'm doing ok, just haven't really felt like blogging for a while. Things have been pretty busy. I hit the one year anniversary of Ben dumping me last week, so there's been that. But overall I'm doing better. Will write an entry soon.
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