Seems like whenever I hit emotional rock bottom I have a good first date to lift my spirits, haha.
I had dinner at a sushi restaurant with a guy I met on Grindr last night. Recent law school graduate. I will assign him the name Jared. For no particular reason, haha.
The shopping center where the restaurant was is always super crowded and parking is a nightmare. Jared lucked out and found a spot immediately, but I wasn't so lucky. I drove around the lot in a futile attempt before deciding to try my luck across the street. I saw him waiting outside the restaurant as I drove by, so I shouted, "Be with you eventually, Jared!" He laughed and then texted me an apology for picking a place with such a bad parking situation.
Fifteen minutes later or so I finally joined him. Immediately I noticed that he is quite a bit more on the feminine-acting side than most of the guys I've gone out with, as far as his voice and some of his mannerisms. However, he is also extremely cute.
I informed Jared that I was quite the sushi newbie, having only started eating it within the past year (in order to impress Ben, but I naturally left out that part, haha). I let him take the lead as far as deciding what rolls to order, with my input as far as my likes. We ended up ordering three different rolls, and all were quite good. Salmon, shrimp tempura, and the "spider roll." I was stuffed afterward. Jared is quite skinny and said he doesn't usually eat very much, so hopefully I didn't make him eat more than he wanted, haha.
The conversation was good. We covered a lot of topics from family, travel, school, hobbies, to coming out. I was pleasantly surprised that he was a relative late bloomer too. He didn't first get an inkling that he might be gay until he was 20, which is actually later than me (it was 18 for me). I was a bit disappointed to find out that he is not very close with his family, and his mom is a bit uncomfortable with his sexuality.
Overall the date was very nice. And in the end I was glad I parked across the street. Jared offered to drive me back to my car. He pulled over next to it and we hugged. I gave him a peck on the cheek and he sort of giggled. I decided to go for the whole enchilada. We chatted a bit more about his upcoming trip to Vegas (he was leaving after our date), and then I went for the full kiss. We kissed a bit, and then I took my leave with a smile, wishing him a safe journey.
While driving away from the parking lot I saw him pull over at a gas station to fill up. A few minutes later I received a text from him saying what a pleasure it was meeting me. I was happy that he felt comfortable sending that text so quickly. When I got home I replied, and told him I thought he was extremely cute. He reciprocated the compliment, and said I had great eyes and a great smile.
Today he texted me to say hi and we began chatting. He made it to Vegas and is hanging out with his friends. I was happy that he reached out. There may be potential with this one. He lives close, and he's not evasive. Nor does he seem to be the type to give mixed signals.
Speaking of mixed signals, I got closure in the Eric situation. After still not getting a confirmation from him about meeting up today, I texted him to say, "Never heard back from you man. What's up? Please don't leave me hanging. The ball is in your court."
Eric soon replied, "I'm sorry I've been so MIA. I'm just really trying to keep up. I don't mean to leave you hanging. You're a funny talented beautiful guy and I would be honored to be in a relationship with someone like you but I can't be your guy right now. I'm just not ready or able to date. Just decided to refocus on myself. I hope all the best with you and your career."
Well, I'm glad he finally was open with me. He's obviously got issues and I don't need to deal with that. I replied back that I was sorry if the first date went a little too fast, I just really liked him. I told him I wanted to get to know him better, even if just as a friend, and he knew where to find me.
So I can close the door on that guy. Bummer, but at least this revelation came after my good date with Jared.
As for the other guy that I was corresponding with on Grindr (the one who went to Texas on business), I finally met up with him after improv practice the other night. It was really late and he seemed pretty exhausted. Nice guy and decent conversation, but our texting chemistry didn't really seem to translate to in person, haha. Perhaps he's friend material.
I am still so happy I got into the improv troupe. Weekly practice is a great way to recharge my batteries, especially when I feel like I did well. And it gives me something interesting to share with people. Jared was impressed at how many hobbies I have (improv, guitar, hiking, etc)
Ben continues to "like" my Facebook statuses, especially anything related to my improv exploits. I've been on the fence about whether to ask him to stop or just tolerate it until I'm desensitized. I'll leave it alone for now.
So my mood is better. Here's hoping it sticks for a while.
4 comments:
Yay! Any boost to your spirits is welcome at this point.
While I still feel you should draw your primary strength from within rather than from others, it sure helps to get external validation that your path and actions are paying off and that you are making progress.
As you have found (like the rest of us) relationships are often hard and requires work from both parties. When things are going great, you don't have to worry much. But the surest test will be how guys react when times are tougher. That's the measure of the character of the guy you are dealing with.
As for the Eric situation, he was giving you a lot of clues about how he felt by being distant and disengaged. Altho rejection always stings, at least for me, I'd rather he be honest. You of course had to prod him; still he gave you a firm idea so you have closure, which is what you sought.
Thanks fan of casey.
It's not just the fact that the date went well and Jared seems to like me that brightened my spirits. It was also finding a guy that I thought was really attractive. Having a good gay date helps to quell the sexuality ruminations. I do agree that it is best not to rely on others to provide you with self-worth. I'm working on it.
You are welcome.
The other nice thing about Eric's departing message to you -- he said you are "funny, talented, and beautiful" -- sure you could think that's a line to let you down gently, but it is probably true as well. You are more established than he is, so you can keep him in your directory for the time in a couple of years when he can devote more attention to a relationship.
As for Jared, you probably need to get used to him being a bit more feminine than others you have dated. After you spend more time with him, you probably won't even notice it much anymore.
Hurray for the pick me up. :-)
Post a Comment