It's been a rather up and down week, but tonight I feel pretty good. This week I had really good conversations with not one but two amazingly attractive guys. Both straight, but it was just nice to make some new friends while recognizing the attraction I had for them. In addition, all of the conversations I've been having online (and in person) with gay and bi guys lately are definitely making me feel more comfortable.
Best yet, lately I've been feeling like there may be hope for me yet in the sexual realm. I don't know if it's the testosterone, my efforts to get rid of any lingering stigmas about sex in my psyche (e.g., I've been trying to see what all the fuss about this thing called "porn" is, haha), or increasing confidence, but I don't feel quite as asexual as I used to. Still not to horndog levels, and I'll probably never get there, but I'm just happy for what seems like an improvement. I even had another sexual dream within the last week, and this time it involved a guy. Guess my sleeping brain swings both ways.
4 comments:
Are you implying that you don't watch much porn? o_O
Never was into porn. I used to think all porn was dirty and wrong when I was younger and wasn't driven to watch it, much less gay porn which has the extra societal stigmas about homosexuality going against it.
Weren't you a little curious about what gay sex meant or looked like?
Porn at the beginning was very eye opening altho the more extreme activities clearly did not interest me.
I can see if you got it in your head that porn was bad, that you would refrain but there's a lot to be said for those wanting to see what it's like for themselves.
Yeah, I hear ya in what you're saying about porn. There's a lot of porn out there that I can't get into because it's too fetish-y or too "dirty" for me. For some reason, I download way more porn than I ever watch (and I end up deleting the vast majority of it anyway . . . not sure why I even bother, lol).
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