Mom's visit

My mom flew in from the mid-west for the week. She's staying with my sister about an hour away. I spent the weekend with her, we went down to San Diego for a family event down there. The event started early this morning, so we got a hotel room for Saturday night. I took the opportunity to have some rather deep discussions with her, including probably the most involved discussion I've had about my sexuality issues. I talked about how her reaction several years ago had made me feel like she was uncomfortable with me approaching her with the topic. She responded that it was only because she didn't know what it was like to be in my shoes. I replied that I didn't expect her to be able to empathize or give advice, I really only wanted her to listen and offer her perspective if she had one. I asked her what would happen if it turned out I was gay. She admitted that she really would like a daughter-in-law and more grandchildren, but she stressed that if that wasn't in the cards than that's the way it is. She was supportive when I said that I was learning not to try to plan out my whole life in advance, that I had to look at my future with a bit more flexibility. She agreed that was a good idea. She also reiterated what she'd told me before over the phone: that she was confident my father would still love me and support me regardless (despite his far-right politics). Overall the conversation made me feel SO much better about her feelings on the issue. I even (rather boldly) mentioned a particular guy I had noticed at lunch. She said that she had thought he was attractive too! So there you have it, I bonded with my mom over our appreciation of a hot guy. Oh my God.

In other news, the visit with the urologist last week went well. For one thing, he was really attractive, a real Dr. McSexy, MD (to borrow a term from my favorite TV show, Supernatural, and its fictional parody of Grey's Anatomy). He told me that my testosterone levels are on the low side of normal, especially for someone my age, and suggested I might try supplementation for a while to see if that has any effect on my libido. I'm still not sure how much of my issue is psychological and how much might be biological/hormonal, but I figured I would give it a try. He gave me a sample of this gel that I have to rub on my shoulders every morning. I was hoping I could do this completely discreetly, but apparently it has a (fairly pleasant) fragrance to it that a couple of people have picked up on. So if anyone asks . . . it's cologne.

My gosh, life is weird sometimes.