Thank you so much for the comments on yesterday's blog post. It was one of those entries that comes every once in a while where I really spill my guts about what's troubling me. It always takes a while to work myself up to writing one of those, but I'm always happy with the feedback I get.
I also had long conversations with two of my friends, Tom and Rick, yesterday. Both confided in me that they experienced doubts in their past relationships, that I am not alone about that. Rick and I also talked a lot about sex which is not a topic I was comfortable talking about with friends a couple years ago. In addition, I attended a party where I found myself checking out a couple guys the whole time, while Rick told me he was checking out girls the whole time. A little reassurance about the way I lean, haha.
Today my mind is a lot more at ease. I plan on Skyping with Ben later on today, which should be cool. You guys are right, he and I really gel well and he does make me happy. I will try my best to take things a step at a time and not get all boggled down in worrying about the long term.
1 comment:
There seems to be a common theme of a lack of self confidence -- sexual confusion, schooling, settling on career, living up to Ben's expectations -- so perhaps you just are not used to hearing the accolades that Ben has been showering on you. It's almost like you don't really believe it when Ben tells you that you are amazing. But think about it -- is Ben the type to heap false praise or go over board with hyperbole?
You need to relax and give yourself a break and just accept the praise -- because it sounds genuine and heart felt. And also, you don't need to match or exceed Ben's enthusiasm -- perhaps your comfort zone is more introverted than him. Just be yourself and if it feels right to follow Ben's lead, than go ahead and be more open and expressive.
To me, that's a sign that you want to be better person because of Ben -- which says a lot about your relationship with him. You will grow along with the relationship so stop worrying so much.
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