Yeah, this song title idea is getting hard, haha. I'll see how long I can keep it up but I might go back to only using song titles when it makes sense.
Anyways, today's song is about a guy who can't get over his failed relationship and keeps calling his ex-lover even though he receives no answer. It brings to mind a pet peeve of mine: when people don't respond to you. It's probably the most frustrating thing I've experienced with the dating websites. I'll message someone, and he'll respond, and then I reply back and that's it. No more messages. Was it something I said? Did he get busy? Or just bored? Hard to say, but it's annoying. Even worse is when someone messages me and then stops responding. I even had a guy tell me I seemed "pretty awesome," then shortly after he stopped responding. Kinda makes the compliment seem less sincere. (As an aside, I got an email from OkCupid saying I'm "among the most attractive people" on the site, and that I'll start seeing more attractive people in my match results. Rrrright . . . I'm sure you say that to all the guys, haha. Nice marketing ploy there.)
The most aggravating case of this has been Conner. I know I didn't really feel "sparks" or anything when I met him a couple weekends ago, but I thought he was pretty cool and wanted to hang out with him again. But he never replied to my text, and he never replied to the email I sent a couple days later. Yet today on Match he looked at my profile again. So . . . what the hell? Some people need to grow some balls and tell you when they're not interested, instead of just being rude and giving you the cold shoulder. I know this kind of thing is common, especially in the world of online dating, but it still pisses me off.
That's what is great about Jake and Ben. Neither of them were interested in pursuing dating further with me, but both had the guts to let me know instead of just cutting me off. Ben even had the talk in person, which I respect. He's also stayed true to his word about wanting to remain friends, as we've already made tentative plans to go hiking again next weekend. As for Jake, we've chatted a bit on Facebook and text. I'll probably see if he wants to hang out sometime.
I also emailed the ol' Facebook acquaintance that flaked out on me before. I figured maybe the reason he was being unresponsive was because he didn't particularly want to help me work through my issues, so this time I emailed him to tell him about all the progress I made. I simply said I wanted to make some more gay friends so if he'd still be up for meeting up sometime that'd be cool. He did respond this time, saying that he's not always good with email and Facebook. He said he's super busy with work but he'll hit me up when things cool down. I don't really expect him to, I guess I just wanted some closure with that. Meanwhile I tried reaching out to another Facebook friend (this one I know a little better . . . but just a little, haha).
In other news, I met up with Guy # 6 today. I'm not really attracted to him, but he's nice so if he calls me I'd probably be up to hanging out again. But I'd make it clear that I just like him as a friend.
Aaron and I will probably get together again this week at some point, so we'll see how that goes. After that I'm probably going to slow down the dating thing for a few weeks as I focus on other things.
2 comments:
When dating, I think we all have to remember we are somewhere along the LGBTQ road to acceptance. No matter how accepting our friends and family may be, somewhere along the way we have encountered attitudes that are less accepting. We have to accept that “the norm” is relative and we have to examine our own attitudes – are we as comfortable as we think we are? And how do we treat an individual who gives the appearance of being more or less comfortable in their own skin?
I’ve seen excerpts from an article on Manhunt which essentially asserts what I call the “shopping” experience. We go from one profile to the next, maybe the next one will be better, maybe he’ll be hotter, taller, shorter...... are we fooling ourselves? We are taught to be discriminating, from Sesame Street, “one of these things is not like the other”, and often further into our careers. We are trained to look for differences. It can be easy when we see a picture or comment to pick out one thing we like, “he’s got a great smile”, but can we go further? Or do we look for the negatives, he’s too far away, he’s not out, he’s too short, too heavy, too effeminate, too macho....
If we spot this behaviour in others, are we inadvertently displaying it as well? It takes some effort to really be accepting of others as well as yourself and to remain positive? That doesn’t excuse rudeness – its easy to reply, “Sorry, I’m not interested”, but human behaviour being what it is, I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it.
Most LGBTQ individuals are often alone, or become aloof trying to fit into preconceived “norms”. Being alone and being lonely are not the same thing. Most of my hobbies are alone time, but there are times it would be nice to have someone there. However together, it’s going to take some extra effort to break down our own barriers and find someone.
Probably off topic, but I like your new 'habit' to add a song to every post.
Because your blog (as most gay blogs - including mine)are(semi-)anonymous, adding some music (or other things you can relate to) can put the picture of the person you are a little clearer. It's like some kind of surrogate context, because when you meet people in real life things that are not said, like were you see them, bodylanguage and whatelse, are as important to relate to someone.
Didn't know this song from ELO but can appreciate it, although I prefer their more uptempo stuff.
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